There’s this magical thing that happens when a daughter walks into the room—Dad melts like butter on a summer sidewalk. But when a son walks in? Dad suddenly remembers every trauma from his own childhood and decides it’s time for a character-building monologue that lasts until dinner.
And look, I get it. I just watched a clip of TJ McConnell’s proud Pops talking about raising a son who made it to the NBA—and a daughter who made it to the WNBA. The kicker? He openly admitted he was harder on the boy.
So why is this such a thing?
🧠 The “Coach Mentality” with Sons
Some dads treat their sons like they’re auditioning for the sequel to 300—“THIS… IS… CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!”
There’s a subconscious belief that boys have to be “toughened up.” Crying? “Save that for your pillow.” Fear? “Turn it into focus.” Struggles? “Do it again, but louder.”
While it may build grit, it can also plant the idea that love must be earned. Many young men grow up feeling like they’re one missed layup away from being benched emotionally.
💡 Nugget #1: Affirm your sons without requiring performance. They need to know they’re enough before they succeed.
👸 The “Princess Protocol” with Daughters
Now with daughters, many dads switch from Coach Carter to Mr. Rogers. They soften, praise everything from ponytail placement to pancake flipping, and will openly weep during graduation slideshows.
It’s beautiful… but sometimes overly protective.
Some daughters grow up thinking the world will treat them like Daddy did—then real life hits like a dodgeball. Fast and unexpected.
💡 Nugget #2: Encourage independence in daughters. They need tools, not just protection.
⚖️ A Balancing Act
Fathers don’t need to treat their children the same, but they do need to treat them fair. Sons shouldn’t only get critiques, and daughters shouldn’t only get compliments.
A great dad learns how to coach and comfort, challenge and cheer, for both sons and daughters. (Also, can we admit that sometimes sons need hugs and daughters need to hear, “Fix your form”?)
😂 Final Word (and Laugh)
If your dad ever said, “I’m not yelling, I’m motivating!”—you might be the son.
If your dad once built a treehouse and said, “This is for my little princess,”—you might be the daughter.
Either way, let’s raise a generation where both sons and daughters feel seen, heard, and supported.
Because we’re not just raising kids—we’re building legacies.
💬 What’s your take? Drop it in the comments or tag someone who had the “you better not cry” dad.
📣 Be Wise. Be True. JustINSPIRE.
